If you have a dilemma, send a brief email to mariella.frostrup@observer.co.uk
The dilemma I'm in my late 20s and have been friends with a woman for the last 10 years. I am increasingly thinking that I should cut her out of my life, but I am reluctant to do so as I feel sorry for her and at times she can be a good friend. She has always been quite selfish and jealous and this recently came to a head when I told her I had set a date to marry my partner. She greeted it with indifference and my infrequent attempts to discuss the wedding are met with mumbling and a change of topic. Every time I see her she is negative and I always leave feeling down and angry. We went out recently and she drunkenly told me she wished she had met my partner first which I thought was really inappropriate. I have no doubt that given the chance she would sleep with him. She spent the rest of the night crying on my shoulder about how unhappy she is. Part of me feels that I can't cut her out of my life, as it must be terrible for her to be so unhappy and insecure. I am rubbish with confrontation and challenge, so a fresh perspective would be welcome.