If you have a dilemma, send a brief email to mariella.frostrup@observer.co.uk
The dilemma I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and five months. He is the youngest of four boys, who are married with children, and he is the only one at home. I met his mum two weeks after we started dating and I have been living with them since we got together. His mum is 61 and has been through quite a lot. She looks very old for her age. She smokes, drinks and gambles heavily and moans about everything. She's abusive towards him and constantly shouting at him. She expects us to take her to the casino at least four times a week and pick up all her supplies: cigarettes, alcohol, lottery tickets etc. My boyfriend is used to it, and it kills me when she swears at him. I can't go on like this; he and I are starting to fight. I feel like our lives revolve around this 61-year-old woman. We babysit her; she's rude, never wrong, needs my boyfriend and has made it very clear that she doesn't want to share him.