A woman feels guilty about her relationship with her friend’s old partner. Mariella Frostrup says she needn’t – and should focus on restoring her friendship
The dilemma I’m dating this amazing guy. The problem is he is my best friend’s ex. She and I were soul sisters, spoke on the phone for hours, had sleepovers all the time. She was my rock. She started to date this guy and four months after they broke up we started to see each other. She was not impressed at all, and I don’t blame her. She cut our friendship off straight away and, as much as I respect her decision, I’m finding it very hard to move on from hurting her. But I’m also glad I’ve met such a great person. It’s starting to come between me and my partner because I can’t forgive myself. Also, I knew so much about their relationship. I’d love some advice on how to move on from this situation.
Mariella replies Move on, or backpedal a bit? I know the world we live in now is based on the principle of forward momentum – eyes to the fore, sights set on future goals and opportunities. We are alert to anything that tries to buffet us backwards. But it’s simply not possible to keep moving relentlessly up, up and away.
If you’ve told the truth, your friend doesn’t have the right to be angry. We don’t own the rights to our old lovers
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