A woman wants her friend’s children to know how they were conceived. Mariella Frostrup questions her over-involvement
The dilemma I am the godmother of twins born through artificial insemination with their father’s sperm and a US donor egg. The parents hid this from me, other friends and family. Being close to the mother while she was pregnant I felt sort of betrayed when I found out (by accident). The children, nearly 10, do not look like their mother and sense that something does not add up on a deeper level, too. Both parents and children have behavioural difficulties that I think might be partially resolved by coming out with the truth. By that I do not necessarily mean telling the children about how they were conceived, but if they stopped living that lie it might benefit the kids as well. Should I tell the parents what I think?
Mariella replies What do you actually think? It’s not particularly clear from your letter. I know a bit about what you feel, but it’s hard to see how expressing that will benefit your godchildren or their parents. Let’s backtrack a bit to that sense of betrayal you experienced when you discovered the truth of your godchildren’s biological beginnings.
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