A woman who has just returned to work after having children fancies her colleague. Mariella Frostrup tells her to get on with it or get over it – but hang on to the job
The dilemma Just over a year ago I re-entered the workforce after several years looking after my three young children. My current position came about through a lucky reunion with a former mentor and I now enjoy a fulfilling career with opportunities that would not ordinarily be offered to someone of my experience. The problem is that I work closely with someone I have developed an enormous crush on. I do not want to be involved with this person, as I am in a committed relationship with my partner. Despite this, I find myself distracted and overwhelmed by the attraction to my colleague. I have tried to retain perspective – I even told both my partner and my colleague how I feel, knowing that nothing would happen and hoping that the humiliation would be enough to drive my feelings away. But I still find myself agitated at work, enough to consider giving up my job – a job I love and feel fortunate to have. Should I wait it out and trust that this will resolve itself with time (this has been going on for a year already), or should I look for another job elsewhere, even if that means leaving my ideal boss and career path?
Mariella replies Don’t be silly. A good job is hard to find, while an attractive colleague is more of a treat than a hardship. If you really can’t escape your lust-fuelled fantasies you may need to seek alternative employment, but I’d urge you to make that a last resort. Instead, how about getting to grips with your libido rather than your workmate?
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