A woman who values her personal space is fed up with her boyfriend walking into and sometimes breaking into her room. Mariella Frostrup says there is only one way to go
If you have a dilemma, send a brief email to mariella.frostrup@observer.co.uk
The dilemma I have recently moved in with my boyfriend after being together for a year. We used to see each other two or three times a week. Now he seems to think we should spend every possible minute together. We live in a house share, so have our own bedrooms. I like to do yoga in my room, but he barges in when he feels like it, despite me asking him numerous times not to disturb me. When I get cross with him for interrupting, he bleats: But I just want to see you! So I started locking my door. He has now worked out how to break into my room using a credit card on the lock, and he lets himself in whenever I have the door closed. He has walked in on me waxing my bikini line, depilating my tache and pumicing my feet. Not activities I think anyone should witness. He is amused at my outrage. I just cant get it into his head that I need my own space occasionally and I cant cope much longer with his ridiculous neediness. I would like to move out, but I am nearly two months into a six-month contract and cant afford to.
Mariella replies Split up and stay put! The strongest feeling you seem to have for him is exasperation, so the relationship has little chance of survival anyway. Once you are no longer dating, breaking and entering will be a criminal act, and if he fails to refrain you can always get the police involved.
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