A woman who inherited her father’s house wonders how to share running costs with her man. Mariella Frostrup says it’s about maintaining a sense of equality
The dilemma I have been dating a wonderful man for a year and a half. Our kids are grown and we have both had previous marriages. My father passed away last March and in his will he left me his home in another part of the country. I decided to move there. The thing is, the house is more than 30 years old and needs a lot of work. So far I’ve paid a large amount in renovations and there is still a lot to do. The house will remain in my name, and I will leave it for my children. So it’s one thing to split bills but, as he is now living with me, and I’m paying for updating the house, should he help with the renovation costs? I can’t figure out what is fair here.
Mariella replies What’s fair in life is a loaded question. They say money makes the world go round, but its mere mention can also draw the carousel of love to an abrupt halt. There’s nothing more mundane and conversely more taboo than money. Most of us would be happier to share bodily fluids with another human than be transparent about our earnings to them. Just look at the jitters being caused by the imminent disclosure of how company salaries differ between the sexes. It’s taken four and a half decades of injustice, such is the veil drawn over finance, to precipitate this revolutionary reveal. Yet the naming and shaming of those who fail to live up to the Equal Pay Act has plenty to offer both sexes. Find me one dad who doesn’t believe his daughter should earn the same as the dreary bloke on the desk opposite.
Most of us would be happier to share bodily fluids with another human than be transparent about our earnings
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