A man was betrayed by the neighbour he introduced to his friends. Mariella Frostrup tells him to question their infantile behaviour while maintaining his own openness and integrity
The dilemmaTwo years ago I became friendly with a neighbour. He was a new expat and didn’t have many friends, so I introduced him to two of mine and for a while we were all pally. But I had a row with him over something trivial and suddenly contact with my other friends dried up. Calls, texts and emails went unanswered. One of them eventually wrote back to say he wanted nothing to do with me, as I had “betrayed his confidence”, which was news to me. I’ve recently found out that the expat invented a salacious lie about me that the other two believed. I don’t miss their friendship, because I know genuine friends would not behave like this. However I’m struggling to “let it go” in true Disney fashion.
Mariella replies I’m not surprised. I’ve heard a lot of this sort of story recently and am bemused at the kindergarten politics at play in supposedly mature relationships. Since when did “cutting someone off” become an acceptable response to a perceived slight or misunderstanding? What terrible impairment of our communication skills has taken place that renders discussion and understanding obsolete and the slamming of the metaphorical door our first choice?
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